Seasons of deep loneliness, despair, anger, and shame are inevitable in the life of every human being. When these moments occur, the healthiest and most natural response should be to turn to our spouse in order to share our feelings and receive their support, comfort, acceptance, and love. Unfortunately, for many of us this natural response has been choked, resulting in an increase of these distressing emotions and leaving us feeling even more alone, afraid, ashamed, and angry. We want to seek comfort and validation in our spouse (as we should), but previous attempts have only created feelings of frustration, betrayal, and abandonment as a result of being either misunderstood or dismissed. But even in the midst of such circumstances, there is hope.
The key to unlocking this hope is creating healthy intimacy within your marriage. Problems with intimacy can contribute to emotional, mental, and even physical impairments within a relationship; however, learning and implementing the necessary skills associated with genuine intimacy can lead to resilient relationships that are both happy and healthy.
Intimacy occurs when you can share your innermost self, the good and the bad alike, with another and respond in kind to them – accepting, supporting, and empathizing with their innermost self. Genuine intimacy requires a continual dialogue of honesty, transparency, vulnerability, and reciprocity, and this can be accomplished within an environment that promotes emotional experiences and builds acceptance and empathy, resulting in authentic change.
If learning these skills are of interest to you, I would consider it an honor to work with you and your spouse to form a enduring bond of genuine intimacy.
"We consider our counseling sessions with Steve to be marriage-saving. Steve helped us learn healthy ways to cope with crisis, communicate more effectively, and refocus our desire for each other. We feel like we have been equipped with all the tools we need to have a successful marriage for the rest of our lives." -K & M
“If you do what you always did, you
will get what you always got.” –Anonymous